“My child is just average.” Have you ever said these words? They are often whispered by parents who feel that they are not living up to the expectations placed on them by their friends, relatives, community and maybe even society. Not too long ago it was okay to be average; it was not seen as a flaw. Today so much emphasis is placed on the rigor of a high school student’s curriculum, standardized test scores and extra-curricular activities parents and students are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. Don’t panic there are wonderful options for your child.
If you say that your child is “average,” you probably mean that Jillian has average grades and/or standardized test scores. You know that your child’s grades approximate the arithmetic mean at your child’s high school and her GPA causes you to feel that she has moderate potential to learn and perform? But, is your assessment of her ability accurate? “Average” may mean something different depending upon where you are located and the high school your child attends. What is perceived as average at one high school may indeed be below average or above average at another high school. Grades only measure how your child in fact performed in high school. They may not necessarily measure how she will perform in college.
When you use the word “average” do you understand why your child performed they way he did in high school? Grades may be an imperfect measurement of your child’s ability. Only after you have fully assessed your child both as learner and as a person will you be ready to move on to finding colleges that fit your child academically and socially – if you and your child still think that college is the appropriate next step. For some students, a typical liberal arts education many not be the best use of their time and your money. Here are some things to think about:
Age - Each student is different and each student matures at his or her own rate. Maturity may be influenced by many factors including: heredity, sex and age. Your son may physically look like a man, but he may not have reached the same level of social or emotional growth. Your daughter’s reasoning skills and decision making skills may be better than they were in middle school, but she may not behave as responsibly as you may like. For some high school students, school work and learning take a backseat to physical, social and emotional maturation. Some students who begin slowly, due lack of maturation may perform better in their junior or senior year.
Intellectual Curiosity – Some students do not, or have not been taught, to enjoy hypothesizing or to draw inferences from what they read and hear. They do not think critically, nor do they enjoy problem solving. For them school work is a chore to be endured. Their talent and gratification may lie in other areas such as working with their hands or making beautiful music.
Learning Style – Some students learn differently than others. Some students may have a hard time doing one or two things, while other students may easily do many things concurrently. It may take one student twice as long as another to read a passage in a book, add a column of numbers or understand the chemistry experiment. It is important to understand how your son or daughter learns in order to find the right environment for continued learning, for those students who want to continue with traditional learning.
Expectations – Unfortunately students are often characterized as bright, average or slow learners in elementary school. This learning designation too often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When you use the word average, do you mean the way your child performed on standardized test scores? Most studies find that the correlation between these scores and the student’s performance in the first year of college are not overwhelming; there is no consensus from the many who have debated the predictive validity of these tests. A study performed by the University of California, found that the scores on the SAT II subject tests are indeed better indicators of how freshmen will perform in college than traditional SAT I scores. Also, standardized test scores unfortunately discriminate against economically disadvantaged students as well as students who are simply poor test takers.
Using the word “average” is an unreasonable simplification and does not serve the best interest of the student. Students whose grades and test scores cluster around the fiftieth percentile are vastly different in other ways. Your “average” child is not ordinary, typical or common. I strongly doubt that your child has no special qualities or that there are no areas in which Jimmy will shine. Juliet has her own strengths and talents and needs to be able to find the right environment for her to continue to develop her personality and strengths.
If your child is a B/B- student (it that is typical for your school system), if his standardized test scores hover around 1000, if he only made the junior varsity soccer team, if he is not particularly tall or short, if he has an occasional zit and if he thinks you’re a nag there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. In fact, there is a distinct possibility that he or she may ultimately be happier and more successful than the student with a higher GPA and test scores.
Not everyone is destined to be a stellar student in the classroom. Some students excel in other areas. This does not mean that college is the wrong option. Different people flourish in different environments. For the student who has not been academically stimulated in high school there are many, many colleges and universities where professors enjoy the challenge of motivating students with interesting course content, dialogue and hands-on experiences. Their goal is to make these students into lifelong learners and contributors to society. For the students who have real music, art or theatrical talent there are colleges and universities that will nurture these talents and help them prepare for a career in their chosen field. For students who have no idea what they want to study, courses such as The Science of Harry Potter (offered at Frostburg State University in Maryland), Maple Syrup – The Real Thing (offered at Alfred University in New York), Muppet Magic: Jim Henson’s Art (offered at the University of California – Santa Cruz) and the Art of Walking (offered at Center College in Kentucky) might spark their interest.
When trying to find the optimum learning and social environment for your child regardless of academic strata you need to ask the questions that will help you find the right fit.
Marilyn G.S. Emerson, M.S.W., CEP
