The College Admissions Scoop: Tough Breaks and Silver Linings

By Marilyn G.S. Emerson, M.S.W., CEP

For some high school students and their parents the perceived risk of failing to get into the schools of their choice can be very stressful.  For new or soon to be college graduates, the risk of rejection by a graduate school or a potential employer can be similarly stressful.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Take a deep breath, and then tell yourself that failing to get into the school you want to attend or landing the job you thought perfect, can become a good thing -  especially when you use “failing” as the spark to ignite your strength and resilience.  "Failure is not the opposite of success, it is the stone to success," Arianna Huffington told the Sarah Lawrence class of ’11 in her graduation speech. And, Conan O’Brien told the Dartmouth Class of “11 that “It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.”

Watch Conan O'Brien's speech here :

Watch Arianna Huffington's speech here:

Rising Seniors: Letters of Recommendation - Choose Teachers Wisely

By Marilyn G.S. Emerson, M.S.W., CEP

Rising seniors, it’s time to think about who you will ask to write your letters of recommendation for college.  Choose your teachers wisely.

The Common Application requires two letters of recommendation from teachers.  Other applications ask for one teacher recommendation and some require none.  Sometimes, colleges prefer that you choose teachers from core academic subjects. It is important that you read the application instructions for each college you are applying to and follow the directions carefully.

Here are four things to think about when choosing teachers to write letters of recommendation: 

1. Will each teacher add something new about you – a new dimension? If both teachers say the same thing, you are giving up an opportunity to add more depth to your application
2. Can each teacher you chose speak about your intellectual curiosity? How you learn?  What you do when things become difficult? Can they talk about you as an individual? You want the person or the committee reading your application to know about you, separately from the other students who are applying from your high school.
3.  It is not always best to choose the teacher for the class where you received a good grade or even your best grade. Sometimes the teacher who can talk about your perseverance, your ability to work hard and your individuality will be able to write a more effective letter.
4. After the teacher agrees to write your recommendation, you may want to consider giving the teacher a one page resume that not only details your activities (in school and outside of school), your leadership abilities and your hobbies, but includes what you liked best about the class.  Doing so may provide the teacher with information that can be used to write a stronger letter; it may also indicate to the teacher that you take this seriously, and appreciate the time and effort that he will devote to writing a letter on your behalf.