Rejected - It's Their Loss, Move Forward

By Marilyn G.S. Emerson and Jana Jett Loeb

A Note to Parents: If you son or daughter has been denied from an early program, you likely share in their considerable disappointment. A denial this early can definitely sting, but it is important to put your feelings aside and encourage your child to put their effort into the schools that remain on their list and to keep this decision in perspective.

What follows are some thoughts for students who might trying to make sense of their early denial.

Your ED, REA or EA application has been denied. You are probably—and quite understandably—disappointed. For some of you, “disappointed” might even be putting it lightly. You put in a tremendous amount of work to show your best self to your top choice school and they rejected you. That hurts! But you are not alone.

It is common for students to be denied to early programs. If you have heard that schools only defer or admit students early, then you have been misinformed. It is important to know that these early denials do happen, and that they are not highly unusual. It does not mean you were a terrible applicant or “never had a chance.” It does not mean that you could, should have done things differently. It does not mean that you were not academically competitive with the other applicants. It does not mean you are a failure. It does mean that they probably had more qualified applicants than they had space for.

Schools want to be clear with their applicants, and by giving you an honest decision at this early date, they encourage you to vigorously and enthusiastically pursue the other colleges on your list.

Hopefully, all your other applications are ready. If not, get to work immediately. This will help you to feel more proactive and positive, and will help you to avoid the pitfalls of procrastination.

Don’t let your disappointment get the best of you. Everyone feels the sting of rejection, but what says the most about your character is how you rebound. Get excited about the schools on your list and the many wonderful college options that remain! There are certainly “fat” envelopes in your future.