Traps to Avoid When Visiting Colleges

By Marilyn G.S. Emerson, M.S.W., CEP

Assuming that one student represents the entire student body - When your son or daughter goes on a college tour, generally their tour guide will be a student. At some schools, the tour guides are employees of the admissions office. While tour guides can be a great resource for information about the academics and social life on campus, it is a good idea to get the opinions of other students on campus too. Hearing others’ opinions and gathering information from different sources will allow your son or daughter to better decide whether or not the environment on campus is right for them.

Rushing to judgment - Give your child time to internalize what he or she has seen and heard. Give your child time to think about the school before asking for their opinion. Remember that each school is a new experience and they will need time and space to put what they have seen and heard into perspective. Teenagers might not be able to express their thoughts as clearly as you might like.

Voicing your opinion first - As a parent, you want what you think is best for your child. This may be in conflict with what your child thinks is best for him or her. Do not, either with words or body language, tell your child your thoughts before he voices his opinion.

Not listening to your child - It is very important to respect what your child tells you, even if it sounds ridiculous. Often teenagers have a hard time articulating their feelings and they may draw seemingly peculiar conclusions. Do not get annoyed. Think about what your child is trying to say. One young woman told her parents that she didn’t like a particular campus because the students weren’t wearing shoes. What she really meant was that the campus felt a bit “alternative” and the students were not the type of students she wanted to go to school with.

Not allowing your child to change his or her mind. Do not be so quick to agree or disagree. This is the time for you to listen. As students continue to visit colleges, learn about colleges and mature, their thoughts and opinions might change. They need to feel secure enough to say so.